Interpersonal Relationships

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0><script type="text/javascript" src="http://hb.lycos.com/hb.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://ratings.lycos.com/ratings/lycosRating.js.php"></script> <script type="text/javascript"><![CDATA[//><!]]></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://scripts.lycos.com/catman/init.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-start.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-middle.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/ad/code-end.js"></script> <noscript> <img src="http://members.tripod.com/adm/img/common/ot_noscript.gif?rand=291684" alt="" width="1" height="1" />  <iframe frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" width="728" height="90" src="http://ad.yieldmanager.com/st?ad_type=iframe&ad_size=728x90&section=209094"></iframe>  </noscript> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" colspan=2 height=100 BGCOLOR="#CCCCFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="31800640egdysm.jpg"> <div> <FONT SIZE="6" COLOR="#000099" FACE="Arial" ><B>The Message </b></FONT><B>   |     </b><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="The Message"><U><B>home</b></U></A></div> <bR> <div> </div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" width=150 BGCOLOR="#0000BF" TEXT="#F7F7FF"> <div> <A HREF="id53.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Communication Overview"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Communication Overview</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Self, Perception, Communication"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Self, Perception, & Communication</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id26.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Listening"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Listening</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id90.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Doublespeak"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Doublespeak</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id55.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Verbal Communication"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Verbal Communication</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id56.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nonverbal Communication "><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Nonverbal Communication </U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id34.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Interpersonal Relationships"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Interpersonal Relationships</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id61.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Evaluating Improving RelationshipsManag"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Evaluating & Improving Relationships--Managing Conflict</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id149.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Leadership"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Leadership</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id62.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Small Group Communication"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Small Group Communication</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id94.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sample Resume"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Sample Resume</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Resume and Interviewing Notes"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Resume and Interviewing Notes</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id64.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Mass Communication "><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Mass Communication </U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id49.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Persuasion"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Persuasion</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id85.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Subliminal Persuasion"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Subliminal Persuasion</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id52.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Intercultural Notes"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c8ffffff00.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Intercultural Notes</U></A></div> </td> <td valign="top" height=380 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000"> <div> <I>Interpersonal Relationships</I></div> <div>                   </div> <div> Interaction with others is called<B> interpersonal communication</b> and it occurs whenever one person interacts with another.</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="10376a30.gif" border=0 width="118" height="163" ALT="Metafile Companion Picture (32-bit)" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="439" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 106 ><NOBR><div> <B>Links for more learning about relationships  </b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> <A HREF="http://www2.pstcc.cc.tn.us/~dking/friends.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www2.pstcc.cc.tn.us/~dking/friend"><U>Rules for Friendship</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www2.pstcc.cc.tn.us/~dking/fampatt.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www2.pstcc.cc.tn.us/~dking/fampat"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Satifaction in Marriage</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.multimedia.calpoly.edu/libarts/cslem/wizdemo/16-ChapterB.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.multimedia.calpoly.edu/libart"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Interpersonal Liking and Loving</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://longman.awl.com/wade/lab/getinv/3b.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://longman.awl.com/wade/lab/getinv/3"><U><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700c800000000.gif" HEIGHT="13" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Play the Mate Selection Game</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="http://www.madamesee.com/dulcinea/test-scale.html" TARGET="_top" TITLE="http://www.madamesee.com/dulcinea/test-s"><U>l</U></A>  </div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B>Emotional intelligence </b>is the ability to understand and get along with others (Daniel Goleman)</div> <div> <B>Made up of 5 Characteristics</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Self-awareness-deals with own emotions ( articulate them to yourself) so you can  act appropriately.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Managing emotions-expressing them in a manner that is appropriate to the circumstances.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Motivating Yourself-setting a goal and working hard to reach it. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Recognizing emotions in others- Empathy is essential. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Handling relationships-</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B>Why  do we engage in  relationships?</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Physical Attractions-</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Perceived gain</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Similarities</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Beliefs</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Attitudes</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Compatibility-Made up of attitudes, personality, and liking</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Differences-</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Proximity- location to other person</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="0ec777d0.gif" border=0 width="119" height="125" ALT="Metafile Companion Picture (32-bit)" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B>MOTIVES FOR INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION     </b>                                              </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Pleasure</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Affection</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Inclusion</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Escape</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Relaxation</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Control</div> <bR> <div> <B>TALKING TO EACH OTHER      </b>                                                                                                </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">All relationships are governed by roles that the participants expect each other to play</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Roles determine how we communicate</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="29a7e6f0.gif" border=0 width="382" height="623" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <div> </div> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B> Suggestions for beginning conversations: </b></div> <div>      by Dianna Booher, a communication consultant  </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Introduce yourself in a way that gives the other person a chance to respond:</div> <div> "Hi, I'm Lynn Meade, and I teach Communication at NWACC."</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Give people a way to remember your name</div> <div> "I tell my students to think of me as marvelous Mrs. Meade"</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Personalize your greeting</div> <div> "I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who likes long dresses."</div> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B>Aggressive Talk-</b> attacks a person's self concept with the intent of inflicting psychological pain: "You're stupid."  "Femi-nazi"  "Poo-poo head"  "nigger" "Fag"</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B> Regrettable talk</b>-words we wish we hadn't said.</div> <div> Mark Knapp, Laura Stafford, John Daly studied regrettable words</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> 75% Blunder- forgetting someone's name or getting it wrong</div> <div>        How's your mom?  She died last month</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Direct attack-generalized criticism of the other person, their family, or friends. </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Negative group references -Often containing racial or ethnic slurs</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Direct and Specific Criticism-"You never clean house"</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> Revealing or explaining too much-telling secrets.  </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">77% immediately realized and felt bad or guilty.  Some responded nonverbally:  winced, covered mouth</div> <bR> <div> <B>What was the effect of regrettable talk?</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">30% said there was a long term negative change in relationship</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">39% said no change in relationship</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">16% said it was a change for the positive "it made our relationship stronger."</div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B>Self disclosure- </b>a process in which one person tells another person something they would not reveal to just anyone.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B><U>Johari Window</U></b></div> <div>  Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham labeled their model the  (Joe & Harry) <B>Johari Window. </b> Johari window is a model for self disclosure</div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="2" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="312" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#0000FF" BORDERCOLORDARK="#003300" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 44 WIDTH="71"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="1x1.gif" HEIGHT="44" ALIGN="bottom" WIDTH="71" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="106"><div> Known to Self</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="109"><div> Not Known to Self</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 66 WIDTH="71"><div> Known to Others</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF00><NOBR><div> Blind Pane</div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF00><NOBR><div> Open Pane</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 89 WIDTH="71"><div> Not Known to Others</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF00 WIDTH="106"><div> Unknown Pane</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP BGCOLOR=#FFFF00><NOBR><div> Hidden Pane</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div>  <B>Open Pane-</b>free to self and others</div> <div> <B>Blind Pane-</b>Things others know about us that we don't know</div> <div> <B>Hidden Pane</b>-Open to self and hidden from others</div> <div> <B>Unknown Pane-</b>Unknown to self and others. </div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B><U>THE SYSTEMS THEORY OF FAMILY</U></b></div> <bR> <div> <B><U><IMG SRC="0bba4840.gif" border=0 width="164" height="132" ALT="Metafile Companion Picture (32-bit)" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></U></b></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Systems theory says that a family is " a dynamic whole composes of constantly shifting interrelationships but still bounded and rule-governed. " </b></div> <div> Look at family as a system</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> The whole family is greater than the sum of its parts</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  A change in one member affects the whole family</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Behavior is more revealing than words</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Family members conform to rules.</div> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B>INTIMACY IN COUPLES AND FAMILIES</b></div> <div> Intimacy-defined by some or all of the following characteristics</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Spontaneity</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Self-disclosure</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Motivation</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Interdependence</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">  Tension and Balance</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Happily Married couples</b></div> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="0f2b4910.gif" border=0 width="180" height="145" ALT="Metafile Companion Picture (32-bit)" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> Survey of 576 couples who had been married for at least 50 years.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">98% said they did not try to change their partner</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">91% said they confided in their spouses</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">83% said they showed affection every day</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">89% said they felt their spouses were understanding</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Men were more likely to define their marriages in a positive light than the women were</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Happy couples sit closer together and touch each other  </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Unhappy couple touch less and are more likely to maintain closed postures by crossing their arms  in front of themselves     </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Psychologist John Gottman studies couples for 20 years and concludes that there is <B>no difference</b> in the amount of conflict between happily married couples and couples who divorce.  </div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Couples who often divorce engage in corrosive communication patterns...complaining, criticizing, expressing contempt, and worst of all <B>stonewalling</b> (relying on the exit response to conflict and refusing to discuss issues).</div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B>COMMUNICATION BETWEEN PARENTS AND CHILDREN</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Support messages make a child feel comfortable and secure in the family relationship:  Praise, reassurance</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Children who get support messages from mom have higher self-esteem, engage in less aggressive behavior, and conform more to mother's wants</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Control messages are designed to get children to behave in ways that are acceptable to the mother.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Some are threat  "If you don't, I will..."</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Strong control messages have negative effect on children.</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">These messages increase aggression, decrease self-esteem, creativity, academic achievement. </div> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <IMG SRC="1399e710.gif" border=0 width="158" height="113" ALT="Metafile Companion Picture (32-bit)" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <div> <B>Two styles of responding</b></div> <div> <B> to undesirable behavior: </b></div> <div> <B> </b><FONT SIZE="4" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >reactive & proactive.</FONT></div> <div> <B>Reactive-</b>-The caregiver punished the child when the behavior occurs</div> <div> <B>Proactive</b>-The caregiver anticipates the undesirable behavior and tries to divert the child. </div> <bR> <div> <IMG SRC="137f40e0.gif" border=0 width="500" height="14" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>Styles of Loving</b></div> <bR> <div> <B><IMG SRC="18a49750.gif" border=0 width="73" height="117" ALT="Metafile Companion Picture (32-bit)" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></b></div> <bR> <bR> <div> <B>Eros</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Loving is passionate, intense, and fastmoving</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">May be spiritual, intellectual, or emotional</div> <bR> <div> <B>Storge </b><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#000000" FACE="Arial" >(pronounced "store-gay")</FONT></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Comfortable, best friends kind of love</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Love that grows gradually to create a stable and even-keeled companionship</div> <bR> <div> <B>Ludus</b></div> <div> Playful, sometimes manipulative style of loving</div> <div> Love is a game, a challenge, a puzzle</div> <div> Not about commitment</div> <bR> <div> <B>Mania</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Marked by emotional extremes</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Lovers are insecure of their value and their partners commitment</div> <bR> <div> <B>Agape</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Selfless love where a beloved's happiness is more important than one's own</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Lovers are generous, unselfish, and devoted</div> <bR> <div> <B>Pragma</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Pragmatic, goal oriented style of loving</div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Rely on reason and practical considerations to select people to love</div> <bR> <div> <B>Philo</b></div> <div> <IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700f000000000.gif" HEIGHT="16" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Brotherly love</div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>